TEENAGER: HELP THEM WITHOUT FEAR

The word teenager can be scary at times. Our children become distant and inaccessible people with whom communication can be quite challenging at times; and now we are locked up with them.

This very important transition stage, where social context plays such a relevant role, is happening to them without this support system: without their friends, their partner, etc. and they are stuck with us even if they do not want to.

Authors like Piaget or Erikson establish the relevance of social interaction at this age, as it allows them to consolidate their identity, feel productive and make sense out of the world around them. However, today it seems like the world has stopped. Nevertheless, we can help them to continue learning and growing more mature, while we are mindful about certain symptoms that could arise.

Symptoms:

• Sleep loss
• Anxiety
• Negative thoughts
• Confinement within confinement (they lock themselves in their room with no contact)
• Weight changes
• Loss of interest in things that used to excite them
• Mood swings (fear, uncertainty)

How do we help them?

– It is very important to establish limits: maintain routines, sleeping patterns, healthy eating. Routines help us keep a busy mind, feel productive and feel that the quarantine has not taken all control from us.

– Provide opportunities to express what we are feeling, validate their emotions without being judgmental and give them a sense of security. Accepting our own emotions is the first step towards resilience.

– Provide a space for them to practice a hobby, free of rules where they enjoy themselves and we can connect with them as well. Do not forget to also allow a space for them to be alone.

– Look for support networks with family and friends, keeping in touch with people who are relevant, and for once, using technology in our favour.

– Being co-pilots and reaching agreements with them about their use of screens, especially at night, trying to end the day in a pleasant way and spending some time with family to rest better.

– VERY IMPORTANT: having very little activity and being isolated or disconnected, are fundamental factors that lead to feeling apathetic or depressed. So try to avoid them by following the previous advice.

There is no “one size fits all” recipes, we are all different, but these strategies can help us to come out even stronger from this experience. The name of the game is PATIENCE. Remember that this lockdown has a purpose, and that we will all be back together soon.

Magdalena Torres, Emotional Support